You get so alone.

What is it that racks us together this way; clanging, crashing- a sea of awkward emotions claimed dead? Was it that we read the same books, loathed the same films, sang the same music? It was, essentially, i think, a want of the way words tumbled down into hands, flipping them over and over until we could give them a name…and then hand them, to each other; an even trade under river rocks and ancient court house stairs. Now, it’s wicked electric the way your neurons fire in my dreams. Nothing lays dormant even if I couldn’t see your eyes; for three months, five months. You make me laugh. I wanted to hug you more than I hugged you goodbye.

(Could you tell any of these things?)

And then.

I fall asleep with my hand on my cunt, your face in my head, and someone else’s name on my lips.

Everyday Matters, 15 June 2007.

(The saddest day.)

Everyday Matters, 14 June 2007.

Everyday Matters, 13 June 2007.

Reference photograph:

Everyday Matters, 12 June 2007.

Reference photograph:

Everyday Matters, 11 June 2007.

Reference photograph:

Everyday Matters, 10 June 2007.

I haven’t missed a day of drawing yet. Five and counting. I like doing it. The drawings are not very good, quite crude, because I don’t give myself time to think about it. And well, the pen. But, it’s so cathartic. And another thing I’ve noticed, is that I am looking at everything with different eyes. I look at it, the shape, the shadows, the positive and negative space- I am always deciding in my head if I would like to draw this thing or that thing sometime. It’s kind of exciting.

Reference photograph:

Everyday Matters, 08 & 09 June 2007.

08 June 2007:

09 June 2007:

Reference photograph:

Everday Matters, Day 1, 07 June 2007.

Inspired by Danny Gregory’s, Everyday Matters, I began a sketchbook of my own everyday matters.

Mr. Gregory’s:

I think that he means everyday MATTERS as in IMPORTANCE, MEANING, etc. but I like to think of it as SITUATIONS, MOMENTS, the MATTER at hand. Sooo. As I was inspired, I purchased a brand new sketch book (I love any reason to buy new paper, aww yeaaa) and a pitt pen! and today was my first day drawing my everyday matters. I really need drawing practice. I’m not that great at it. sometimes I get really awesome stuff and sometimes it’s shit. It’s really about a 50/50 toss up as to what it’s gonna be. Like, my book of ideas for art projects and paintings is ridiculous and I’ve had teachers tell of its ridiculousness, because instead of sketching out things very much, it’s a really detailed written description and lots of lists. I need to not do that! It’s weird drawing today because I’ve never extensively drawn with a pen. there is no option to erase. I find that I like this. It means I have to trust myself more.

Mine:

Day 1, 07 June 2007.

(Can you read the text? Maybe I should type it in?)

Reference photos so you can see what I was seeing:

(I just took this today, it’s more naked than it was when I drew it. Sad face.)

home is where the heart breaks.

sometimes, i think, maybe, things are prettier here than they are anywhere else.