Everyday Matters, 15 June 2007.

(The saddest day.)

Everyday Matters, 14 June 2007.

Everyday Matters, 13 June 2007.

Reference photograph:

Everyday Matters, 12 June 2007.

Reference photograph:

Everyday Matters, 11 June 2007.

Reference photograph:

Everyday Matters, 10 June 2007.

I haven’t missed a day of drawing yet. Five and counting. I like doing it. The drawings are not very good, quite crude, because I don’t give myself time to think about it. And well, the pen. But, it’s so cathartic. And another thing I’ve noticed, is that I am looking at everything with different eyes. I look at it, the shape, the shadows, the positive and negative space- I am always deciding in my head if I would like to draw this thing or that thing sometime. It’s kind of exciting.

Reference photograph:

Everyday Matters, 08 & 09 June 2007.

08 June 2007:

09 June 2007:

Reference photograph:

Everday Matters, Day 1, 07 June 2007.

Inspired by Danny Gregory’s, Everyday Matters, I began a sketchbook of my own everyday matters.

Mr. Gregory’s:

I think that he means everyday MATTERS as in IMPORTANCE, MEANING, etc. but I like to think of it as SITUATIONS, MOMENTS, the MATTER at hand. Sooo. As I was inspired, I purchased a brand new sketch book (I love any reason to buy new paper, aww yeaaa) and a pitt pen! and today was my first day drawing my everyday matters. I really need drawing practice. I’m not that great at it. sometimes I get really awesome stuff and sometimes it’s shit. It’s really about a 50/50 toss up as to what it’s gonna be. Like, my book of ideas for art projects and paintings is ridiculous and I’ve had teachers tell of its ridiculousness, because instead of sketching out things very much, it’s a really detailed written description and lots of lists. I need to not do that! It’s weird drawing today because I’ve never extensively drawn with a pen. there is no option to erase. I find that I like this. It means I have to trust myself more.

Mine:

Day 1, 07 June 2007.

(Can you read the text? Maybe I should type it in?)

Reference photos so you can see what I was seeing:

(I just took this today, it’s more naked than it was when I drew it. Sad face.)

everything all of the time.

i find myself feeling incredibly moved by everything the past few days. things look different, blurry around the edges, like they’re becoming new.

the bottom of my purse is full of jones soda caps. they jingle when i drop things inside. i think about how they’re a map of the world right now.

alex’s gram may have cancer. the dishes she gave us keep breaking. first a bowl, then a plate when i was in too big of a hurry. they keep breaking since we found out. it is one of those things when everything feels like a sign. or a thin line leading you somewhere.

i hate when everything means some something. i hate it when everything means nothing.

i had to take alex to the hospital this morning. he hurt his back at work. i went back with him in the er. the nurse asked him to undress, to put on the gown. i sat in the chair watching him, in the sterile light. the body i’d seen naked so many times looked so different, small and incredibly fragile. i folded his clothes, set them on the chair. it was the only thing i could do.

when i was looking for activities about matisse, i found things that i couldn’t stop staring at.

like this room, this room, The Tree of Life.

it’s all of the colours i find myself loving lately. i felt like i wanted such a room to swallow me up. i wrote on a post-it “buy tissue paper. cut outs. cover the bedroom windows. like stained glass.”

and then, the paintings from Jazz. i stared at them all. they pulled me in.

but this. Heart.

i couldn’t stop staring at the white space. then the dark space. then the white space until minutes and minutes had passed and someone walked up to the desk with a question.

and this. Destiny.

i don’t know if i believe in destiny. but i believe that i am that small white space.